Building Your Self Esteem

Your self esteem is how much you like and respect your self. Good self esteem is the the number factor in deciding how happy and successful you will be in life. People often wonder when someone they feel is less intelligent or less worthy manages to get promotions, and obtain other goals we are wanting for our self. The answer may just be their self esteem. People with a lower self esteem seldom volunteer to be in charge. They have trouble taking even small risks because the feel of failure is greater than their self esteem. Your self esteem and your self confidence are greatly intertwined. Having confidence in yourself and your abilities goes a long way whether you're facing a tough decision, adapting to a new situation or standing up against peer pressure.

One of the biggest things that keeps people from achieving their goals  and feeling good about themselves is negative self-talk. Our inner voice whispers to us constantly and when it is saying negative things it can have a real snowball effect. You may think these thoughts or give yourself these negative messages so often that you are hardly aware of them. Pay attention to them. Carry a small pad with you as you go about your daily routine for several days and jot down negative thoughts about yourself whenever you notice them. Some people say they notice more negative thinking when they are tired, sick, or dealing with a lot of stress. As you become aware of your negative thoughts, you may notice more and more of them. Work on ways to develop positive statements  to replace these negative thoughts whenever you notice yourself thinking them. You can't think two thoughts at the same time. When you are thinking a positive thought about yourself, you can't be thinking a negative one. In developing these thoughts, use positive words like happy, peaceful, loving, enthusiastic, warm.

When we develop self esteem, we take control of our mission, values and discipline. Self esteem brings about self improvement, true assessment, and determination. So how do you start putting up the building blocks of self esteem? There are small things each of us can do every day to help improve our self esteem. By making small changes in our daily life we can start reaching some small term goals and with each small success our self esteem and confidence grow.

Listen to what your body, your mind, and your heart are telling you. For instance, if your body is telling you that you have been sitting down too long, stand up and stretch. If your heart is longing to spend more time with a special friend, do it. If your mind is telling you to clean up your basement, listen to your favorite music, or stop thinking bad thoughts about yourself, take those thoughts seriously.

Take very good care of yourself. As you were growing up you may not have learned how to take good care of yourself. In fact, much of your attention may have been on taking care of others, on just getting by, or on "behaving well." Begin today to take good care of yourself. We often hear that we teach people how to treat us so make sure you are sending out the message that you want and deserve to be treated well. Treat yourself as a wonderful parent would treat a small child or as one very best friend might treat another. If you work at taking good care of yourself, you will find that you feel better about yourself.

Moving your body helps you to feel better and improves your self-esteem. Arrange a time every day or as often as possible when you can get some exercise, preferably outdoors. You can do many different things such as walking, riding a bicycle, or playing a sport. Put on a tape, or play the radio and dance to the music or do anything that feels good to you. If you have a health problem that may restrict your ability to exercise, check with your doctor before beginning or changing your exercise habits.

Spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself and who treat you well. Avoid people who treat you badly. Choose where you spend your spare time. Getting involved in charity work and helping others will give you a more positive group of people than spending time at a bar. Take some classes on something you enjoy and give yourself an opportunity to make some friends that share your interests and goals.